I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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