dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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