dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize