yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I forget how to act sober
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