I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
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