i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
