Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
