i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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