a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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