She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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