all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
