Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
well you can't waste a boner
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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