I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
