Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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