someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
