Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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