You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
