I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
