Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
