my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
