The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
