i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
