just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
handjob tips. give me some.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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