Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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