We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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