Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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