Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Randomize
