Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
