Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
