I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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