Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
