Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize