k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize