I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
