Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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