I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We have so much sex to catch up on
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
