I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
