I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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