Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You left your underwear on the fireplace
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
