I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
