this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
