Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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