hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
