Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
