Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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