In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
