I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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