i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I would fuck him just for his dog
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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