Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize