Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
