I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
And then he peed in my hair
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