i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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