she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
nutella sex= disaster
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
