my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
