I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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