are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize