she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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