dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
