i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
